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The Worst Gym Machine Ever?
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Samir
Level

Join date: Jul 2011
Posts: 441

Guys, I was debating this with a friend. What is the WORST MACHINE ever invented for gyms?

Criteria
- Must take up A LOT of space.
- Must work a very ancillary or small muscle group.
- Said muscles must be easily trainable with minimal equipment
- Must be confusing as f--k to use
- Bonus points for injury prone forced movement
- Expensive as hell

So far the best we came up with is this giant ab twister thing that our gym has. It's bigger than a power rack, and all you do in it is rotate your trunk 30 degrees in either direction. Weights go up to about 120 on the cable stack. You have to sit in it with a roller-coaster-like harness (a hard one that pins you from above) and of course the lumbar support is fixed so if you don't fit it, you're at risk of grievous injury.

It's massively popular with the bros.

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Nards
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Join date: Jan 2006
Posts: 10974

I think I was going to say the same thing. My gym has a pretty big one for oblique twists.

Can I say the thigh adductor/abductor? It may not be huge but they of course take up more space when my gym thinks we need 2 of each!

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Samir
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Join date: Jul 2011
Posts: 441

Adductor/abductor is great because they always come in a pair and take up the space of 3 power racks. Plus these muscles have so little potential, they basically get trained by being active.

I still think the ab twister beats it though, for one reason. Ever stand directly opposed to the adductor machine while a cute girl is on it? >:)

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StateOfPsychosis
Level 5

Join date: Aug 2008
Posts: 573

Every machine they put in the new gym that was built in the town I'm from. The seat on the machine moves when you perform the movement. I can't think of the name of the line. There is a dip machine where the seat moves back when you press. They are awkward and stupid. The gym is filled with these machines, yet there is no leg press, no cable row machines, and the standing cable stacks are so light I can use the entire weight stack for push downs and I'm not that strong.

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sam_sneed
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Join date: Sep 2008
Posts: 3359

Nards wrote:

Can I say the thigh adductor/abductor? It may not be huge but they of course take up more space when my gym thinks we need 2 of each!


These are useless outside of rehab but in all the gyms I've worked out in, they're one of the busiest machines. The chicks love these things. I had to use them for my knee rehab and I had to wait for these fuckers.

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Iron Dwarf
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Join date: Feb 2008
Posts: 16335

sam_sneed wrote:
Nards wrote:

Can I say the thigh adductor/abductor? It may not be huge but they of course take up more space when my gym thinks we need 2 of each!


These are useless outside of rehab but in all the gyms I've worked out in, they're one of the busiest machines. The chicks love these things. I had to use them for my knee rehab and I had to wait for these fuckers.


X2

Great for rehab.

Why do women love these machines? Is it the repetitious spreading and closing of the legs?

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Maiden3.16
Level 3

Join date: Jan 2011
Posts: 2397

StateOfPsychosis wrote:
Every machine they put in the new gym that was built in the town I'm from. The seat on the machine moves when you perform the movement. I can't think of the name of the line. There is a dip machine where the seat moves back when you press. They are awkward and stupid. The gym is filled with these machines, yet there is no leg press, no cable row machines, and the standing cable stacks are so light I can use the entire weight stack for push downs and I'm not that strong.


HOIST machines. My gym added a shit ton of them a few months ago, and that's what they are, shit.

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LHT
Level 4

Join date: Feb 2009
Posts: 298

Samir wrote:

I still think the ab twister beats it though, for one reason. Ever stand directly opposed to the adductor machine while a cute girl is on it? >:)



lol that's exactly what I was thinking. Those machines are VALUABLE!!!

If any of you people get the adductors taken out of my gym, I'm going to be pissed...

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IamMarqaos
Level 2

Join date: Sep 2004
Posts: 1522

Maiden3.16 wrote:
StateOfPsychosis wrote:
Every machine they put in the new gym that was built in the town I'm from. The seat on the machine moves when you perform the movement. I can't think of the name of the line. There is a dip machine where the seat moves back when you press. They are awkward and stupid. The gym is filled with these machines, yet there is no leg press, no cable row machines, and the standing cable stacks are so light I can use the entire weight stack for push downs and I'm not that strong.


HOIST machines. My gym added a shit ton of them a few months ago, and that's what they are, shit.



Ha, my gym added a few and they are the most popular machines in there at the moment :)
Some of the biggest guys are going ape-shit over it and use only this line. Can't deny I kind of get a kick out of them, but I never used many machines so it is the novelty for me that does it.

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StateOfPsychosis
Level 5

Join date: Aug 2008
Posts: 573

IamMarqaos wrote:
Maiden3.16 wrote:
StateOfPsychosis wrote:
Every machine they put in the new gym that was built in the town I'm from. The seat on the machine moves when you perform the movement. I can't think of the name of the line. There is a dip machine where the seat moves back when you press. They are awkward and stupid. The gym is filled with these machines, yet there is no leg press, no cable row machines, and the standing cable stacks are so light I can use the entire weight stack for push downs and I'm not that strong.


HOIST machines. My gym added a shit ton of them a few months ago, and that's what they are, shit.



Ha, my gym added a few and they are the most popular machines in there at the moment :)
Some of the biggest guys are going ape-shit over it and use only this line. Can't deny I kind of get a kick out of them, but I never used many machines so it is the novelty for me that does it.



Hoist!! That`s it! They are a waste of space. The old gym was a little shit hole, but it was great. Now they just want these shiny new pieces of equipment so the hob-knobs of the town think they are using something special. Sorry for the rant, but my vote goes to Hoist machines.

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sufiandy
Level 1

Join date: Aug 2009
Posts: 2873

Maiden3.16 wrote:
StateOfPsychosis wrote:
Every machine they put in the new gym that was built in the town I'm from. The seat on the machine moves when you perform the movement. I can't think of the name of the line. There is a dip machine where the seat moves back when you press. They are awkward and stupid. The gym is filled with these machines, yet there is no leg press, no cable row machines, and the standing cable stacks are so light I can use the entire weight stack for push downs and I'm not that strong.


HOIST machines. My gym added a shit ton of them a few months ago, and that's what they are, shit.


I don't like hoist much but they aren't the worst. My less crappy gym only has those so I use them occasionally. The movement of the back/seat can sometimes give a slightly better ROM when used properly. They also have free weight and stack versions of the same machine and those can feel a bit different. Unfortunately my lame commercial gym has hammer strength so that is one of the few reasons I haven't dropped it yet.

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JaseHxC
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Join date: Jun 2010
Posts: 1767

One of the local gym just added a rope climbing simulating machines. I suppose it's kind of cool, especially since most commercial/non-commercial gyms have ropes to climb, but everyone is going nuts over this thing and there's generally 4-5 people looking to use it at any one time.

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jehovasfitness
Level 10

Join date: Jan 2006
Posts: 12547

Torso Rotation where one is seated and the lower body swivels side to side. That or the hip ABduction machine.

granted, the lifeguard stand looking leg press, not sure of the real name, sure is huge

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dshroy
Level 2

Join date: Apr 2008
Posts: 1095

Monolift. my gym has 2 of them.

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JaseHxC
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Join date: Jun 2010
Posts: 1767

dshroy wrote:
Monolift. my gym has 2 of them.


Fuck you...

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spar4tee
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Join date: Sep 2010
Posts: 10344

Any Nautilus machine

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Gym Savvy
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Join date: Sep 2009
Posts: 192

The pec fly made by this shitty italian company called Panata- the sides don't quite meet in the middle but more to one side by about 1.5-2 inches; it replaced one of the best fly machines I've ever come across actually, god knows why they felt the need to refurbish that gym!

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Chris Colucci
Contributor

Join date: Jan 2005
Posts: 6822

Samir wrote:
What is the WORST MACHINE ever invented for gyms?

The escalator.

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therajraj
Level 1

Join date: Dec 2008
Posts: 11037

Chris Colucci wrote:
Samir wrote:
What is the WORST MACHINE ever invented for gyms?

The escalator.


I wish my gym had one. I find it extremely uncomfortable walking back to my car after a heavy session of squats and deadlifts. I lliterally have trouble walking correctly from the immense pump in my low back.

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caveman101
Level 2

Join date: Jan 2008
Posts: 3469

i fnd the add/abuctor machines useful for warmups.

seated back extension - now thats a piece of shit

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FrozenNinja
Level 4

Join date: May 2009
Posts: 1331

Torso Rotation machine.

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critietaeta
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Join date: Jun 2007
Posts: 1506

my gym has a stretching cage, nuff said...

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X-Factor
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Join date: Jan 2004
Posts: 805

spar4tee wrote:
Any Nautilus machine


You're kidding right? Have you ever taken any equipment analysis courses?

Take a look at their 4-bar linkage crunch machine....it has a moving virtual axis that acts the same way the virtual axis does in MOST people performing trunk flexion. It's an engineering masterpiece as far as gym equipment goes and Tom Purvis is a fucking genius.

Just saying. If you can't tell me what a cam/moment arm/axis/lever/force angle/pulley is then don't say anything is shit. You might hate some equipment, but none of it is "shit", some pretty close....but I can find an efficient use for pretty much anything. LEarn how your body works as a "machine" understand the physics of force application be creative and objective and you'll find a use..trust me...

Over and Out

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X-Factor
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Join date: Jan 2004
Posts: 805

caveman101 wrote:
i fnd the add/abuctor machines useful for warmups.

seated back extension - now thats a piece of shit


Not if you can't support your intrinsic body mass in flexion, great way to regress training.

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X-Factor
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Join date: Jan 2004
Posts: 805

FrozenNinja wrote:
Torso Rotation machine.


Pretty close, but provided you can assess available range, could be useful.

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