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Procrastination, I've Got it Bad
 

EmilyQ
Level 1

Join date: Jun 2007
Location:
Posts: 4422

I suppose if the OP can honestly say to himself that he dislikes the results of his current actions less than he dislikes taking steps to change those results, then it is not necessary for him to change his actions and those who are affected by those actions will need to sort it out for themselves.


This is really the entire crux of the matter. When I worked in the diet/nutrition business (did we all?) I had clients tell me all the time about the barriers to whatever we were talking about. My response was simple: Of course you can do what you want to do, but if what you want to do is lose weight, then what you need to do is follow the program.

And it's really just that simple. If what you want to do is something else entirely (binge because your mother criticized you) then what you need to do is whatever it takes to achieve that end.

Not EmilyQ either but I sensed some serious tongue in cheek with her last post and think she's screwing with you a little bit.


Now, why would you say that?!

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SkyzykS
Level 2

Join date: Apr 2004
Location: Pennsylvania, USA
Posts: 9208

EmilyQ wrote:
I suppose if the OP can honestly say to himself that he dislikes the results of his current actions less than he dislikes taking steps to change those results, then it is not necessary for him to change his actions and those who are affected by those actions will need to sort it out for themselves.


This is really the entire crux of the matter. When I worked in the diet/nutrition business (did we all?) I had clients tell me all the time about the barriers to whatever we were talking about. My response was simple: Of course you can do what you want to do, but if what you want to do is lose weight, then what you need to do is follow the program.

And it's really just that simple. If what you want to do is something else entirely (binge because your mother criticized you) then what you need to do is whatever it takes to achieve that end.

Not EmilyQ either but I sensed some serious tongue in cheek with her last post and think she's screwing with you a little bit.


Now, why would you say that?!


Cuz you teh kitteh with a sniper rifle. Playful but precise.

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GorillaMon
Level

Join date: Jan 2011
Location: England
Posts: 539

The key to really smashing procrastination is to FULLY, viscerally & vividly EMBRACE the negative reality YOUR procrastinatory inactions are ultimately edging you towards. I mean, really, really, really, REALLY!! smash yourself accross your face with them. GET really, really angry with yourself, allow yourself to scream & or cry about it in some some crazed emo-tantrum artist fashion about how much of of feckless imbicile you are being!

Then and only then have you truly started to build into your psyche the neccessary chair of discomfort that is going to make you feel sufficiently UNCOMFORTABLE enough with NOT taking the appropriate actions to take yourself forward in life.

Imagine you are an old man bitterly lamenting 'what could have been' <<<Lots of those fuckers around!! Don't let yourself become one of them. Choose you 'seat' carefully.

*I'd also say, accepting the fact the you quite likely get a rather smug, silly little 'kick' out of always or often getting stuff done 'just in the nick of time' is also important <<<This ultimately just reinforces avoidant habits*

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spar4tee
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Join date: Sep 2010
Location: District of Columbia, USA
Posts: 9912

GorillaMon wrote:
The key to really smashing procrastination is to FULLY, viscerally & vividly EMBRACE the negative reality YOUR procrastinatory inactions are ultimately edging you towards. I mean, really, really, really, REALLY!! smash yourself accross your face with them. GET really, really angry with yourself, allow yourself to scream & or cry about it in some some crazed emo-tantrum artist fashion about how much of of feckless imbicile you are being!

Then and only then have you truly started to build into your psyche the neccessary chair of discomfort that is going to make you feel sufficiently UNCOMFORTABLE enough with NOT taking the appropriate actions to take yourself forward in life.

Imagine you are an old man bitterly lamenting 'what could have been' <<<Lots of those fuckers around!! Don't let yourself become one of them. Choose you 'seat' carefully.

*I'd also say, accepting the fact the you quite likely get a rather smug, silly little 'kick' out of always or often getting stuff done 'just in the nick of time' is also important <<<This ultimately just reinforces avoidant habits*

^this

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Derek542
Level 5

Join date: Oct 2002
Location: Texas, USA
Posts: 12418

spar4tee wrote:
GorillaMon wrote:
The key to really smashing procrastination is to FULLY, viscerally & vividly EMBRACE the negative reality YOUR procrastinatory inactions are ultimately edging you towards. I mean, really, really, really, REALLY!! smash yourself accross your face with them. GET really, really angry with yourself, allow yourself to scream & or cry about it in some some crazed emo-tantrum artist fashion about how much of of feckless imbicile you are being!

Then and only then have you truly started to build into your psyche the neccessary chair of discomfort that is going to make you feel sufficiently UNCOMFORTABLE enough with NOT taking the appropriate actions to take yourself forward in life.

Imagine you are an old man bitterly lamenting 'what could have been' <<<Lots of those fuckers around!! Don't let yourself become one of them. Choose you 'seat' carefully.

*I'd also say, accepting the fact the you quite likely get a rather smug, silly little 'kick' out of always or often getting stuff done 'just in the nick of time' is also important <<<This ultimately just reinforces avoidant habits*

^this

Yea I think I said it on page 1, stop being a dick and grow the fuck up

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spar4tee
Level

Join date: Sep 2010
Location: District of Columbia, USA
Posts: 9912

Derek542 wrote:
spar4tee wrote:
GorillaMon wrote:
The key to really smashing procrastination is to FULLY, viscerally & vividly EMBRACE the negative reality YOUR procrastinatory inactions are ultimately edging you towards. I mean, really, really, really, REALLY!! smash yourself accross your face with them. GET really, really angry with yourself, allow yourself to scream & or cry about it in some some crazed emo-tantrum artist fashion about how much of of feckless imbicile you are being!

Then and only then have you truly started to build into your psyche the neccessary chair of discomfort that is going to make you feel sufficiently UNCOMFORTABLE enough with NOT taking the appropriate actions to take yourself forward in life.

Imagine you are an old man bitterly lamenting 'what could have been' <<<Lots of those fuckers around!! Don't let yourself become one of them. Choose you 'seat' carefully.

*I'd also say, accepting the fact the you quite likely get a rather smug, silly little 'kick' out of always or often getting stuff done 'just in the nick of time' is also important <<<This ultimately just reinforces avoidant habits*

^this

Yea I think I said it on page 1, stop being a dick and grow the fuck up

lol

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Derek542
Level 5

Join date: Oct 2002
Location: Texas, USA
Posts: 12418

spar4tee wrote:
Derek542 wrote:
spar4tee wrote:
GorillaMon wrote:
The key to really smashing procrastination is to FULLY, viscerally & vividly EMBRACE the negative reality YOUR procrastinatory inactions are ultimately edging you towards. I mean, really, really, really, REALLY!! smash yourself accross your face with them. GET really, really angry with yourself, allow yourself to scream & or cry about it in some some crazed emo-tantrum artist fashion about how much of of feckless imbicile you are being!

Then and only then have you truly started to build into your psyche the neccessary chair of discomfort that is going to make you feel sufficiently UNCOMFORTABLE enough with NOT taking the appropriate actions to take yourself forward in life.

Imagine you are an old man bitterly lamenting 'what could have been' <<<Lots of those fuckers around!! Don't let yourself become one of them. Choose you 'seat' carefully.

*I'd also say, accepting the fact the you quite likely get a rather smug, silly little 'kick' out of always or often getting stuff done 'just in the nick of time' is also important <<<This ultimately just reinforces avoidant habits*

^this

Yea I think I said it on page 1, stop being a dick and grow the fuck up

lol

If one of my partners was like this, well its the south and I would take his ass behind the woodshed.

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spar4tee
Level

Join date: Sep 2010
Location: District of Columbia, USA
Posts: 9912

Derek542 wrote:
spar4tee wrote:
Derek542 wrote:
spar4tee wrote:
GorillaMon wrote:
The key to really smashing procrastination is to FULLY, viscerally & vividly EMBRACE the negative reality YOUR procrastinatory inactions are ultimately edging you towards. I mean, really, really, really, REALLY!! smash yourself accross your face with them. GET really, really angry with yourself, allow yourself to scream & or cry about it in some some crazed emo-tantrum artist fashion about how much of of feckless imbicile you are being!

Then and only then have you truly started to build into your psyche the neccessary chair of discomfort that is going to make you feel sufficiently UNCOMFORTABLE enough with NOT taking the appropriate actions to take yourself forward in life.

Imagine you are an old man bitterly lamenting 'what could have been' <<<Lots of those fuckers around!! Don't let yourself become one of them. Choose you 'seat' carefully.

*I'd also say, accepting the fact the you quite likely get a rather smug, silly little 'kick' out of always or often getting stuff done 'just in the nick of time' is also important <<<This ultimately just reinforces avoidant habits*

^this

Yea I think I said it on page 1, stop being a dick and grow the fuck up

lol

If one of my partners was like this, well its the south and I would take his ass behind the woodshed.

Be careful with your wording

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Derek542
Level 5

Join date: Oct 2002
Location: Texas, USA
Posts: 12418

spar4tee wrote:
Derek542 wrote:
spar4tee wrote:
Derek542 wrote:
spar4tee wrote:
GorillaMon wrote:
The key to really smashing procrastination is to FULLY, viscerally & vividly EMBRACE the negative reality YOUR procrastinatory inactions are ultimately edging you towards. I mean, really, really, really, REALLY!! smash yourself accross your face with them. GET really, really angry with yourself, allow yourself to scream & or cry about it in some some crazed emo-tantrum artist fashion about how much of of feckless imbicile you are being!

Then and only then have you truly started to build into your psyche the neccessary chair of discomfort that is going to make you feel sufficiently UNCOMFORTABLE enough with NOT taking the appropriate actions to take yourself forward in life.

Imagine you are an old man bitterly lamenting 'what could have been' <<<Lots of those fuckers around!! Don't let yourself become one of them. Choose you 'seat' carefully.

*I'd also say, accepting the fact the you quite likely get a rather smug, silly little 'kick' out of always or often getting stuff done 'just in the nick of time' is also important <<<This ultimately just reinforces avoidant habits*

^this

Yea I think I said it on page 1, stop being a dick and grow the fuck up

lol

If one of my partners was like this, well its the south and I would take his ass behind the woodshed.

Be careful with your wording

lol

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carbiduis
Level

Join date: Feb 2010
Location:
Posts: 961

theBeth wrote:
carbiduis wrote:
coyotegal wrote:
I own my own business and I kind of have the same problem. Not to that extent, tho I do see how it can happen!

We went through some serious financial hard times, an audit, and a fire all around the same time. I became so overwhelmed trying to pay shit with nothing and dealing with creditors, insurance, lawyers, etc that I almost froze. I would not even look at bills or in the account until I absolutely had too. I did no paper work at all. I did not fill out any goverment returns, nothing. If I didnt look at it or face it then it couldnt 'hurt' me.

For me it was stress, and I just shut down. At the end I procrastinated EVERYTHING, even silly things like closing cupboards.

I MADE myself begin to pluck away at shit. Before we were shut down or something, lol.

Its taken a long time but we are now back on track.

The bad habbits still like to rear their heads tho, ex; this month was a slow month and I have anxiety to look into the account and pay the bills (even tho the money is there right now) I think it scarred me for life!

I think its like a burn out. Being in business is TOUGH!

So not much advice, but I have been there and know how horrible it feels.

You WILL feel better tho each time to take a chunk out of the work no matter how small it is.

Make a small list each day. Like maybe only 5 simple things. Tackle them and scratch that shit off. It feels good!


You own you're own business and you spell "though" t-h-o??

Th only ppl I knw who typ lk tht ar lazy engr stdnts frm th Mddl east



*Your


I actually let that one out there cor cyote girl, but she missed it...

I'd rather be incorrect than lazy

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theBeth
Level

Join date: May 2013
Location:
Posts: 1148

carbiduis wrote:
theBeth wrote:
carbiduis wrote:
coyotegal wrote:
I own my own business and I kind of have the same problem. Not to that extent, tho I do see how it can happen!

We went through some serious financial hard times, an audit, and a fire all around the same time. I became so overwhelmed trying to pay shit with nothing and dealing with creditors, insurance, lawyers, etc that I almost froze. I would not even look at bills or in the account until I absolutely had too. I did no paper work at all. I did not fill out any goverment returns, nothing. If I didnt look at it or face it then it couldnt 'hurt' me.

For me it was stress, and I just shut down. At the end I procrastinated EVERYTHING, even silly things like closing cupboards.

I MADE myself begin to pluck away at shit. Before we were shut down or something, lol.

Its taken a long time but we are now back on track.

The bad habbits still like to rear their heads tho, ex; this month was a slow month and I have anxiety to look into the account and pay the bills (even tho the money is there right now) I think it scarred me for life!

I think its like a burn out. Being in business is TOUGH!

So not much advice, but I have been there and know how horrible it feels.

You WILL feel better tho each time to take a chunk out of the work no matter how small it is.

Make a small list each day. Like maybe only 5 simple things. Tackle them and scratch that shit off. It feels good!


You own you're own business and you spell "though" t-h-o??

Th only ppl I knw who typ lk tht ar lazy engr stdnts frm th Mddl east



*Your


I actually let that one out there cor cyote girl, but she missed it...

I'd rather be incorrect than lazy


*for

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csulli
Level 1

Join date: May 2012
Location: Tennessee, USA
Posts: 6809

Ahahaha! I love counter grammar Nazism.

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spar4tee
Level

Join date: Sep 2010
Location: District of Columbia, USA
Posts: 9912

theBeth wrote:
carbiduis wrote:
theBeth wrote:
carbiduis wrote:
coyotegal wrote:
I own my own business and I kind of have the same problem. Not to that extent, tho I do see how it can happen!

We went through some serious financial hard times, an audit, and a fire all around the same time. I became so overwhelmed trying to pay shit with nothing and dealing with creditors, insurance, lawyers, etc that I almost froze. I would not even look at bills or in the account until I absolutely had too. I did no paper work at all. I did not fill out any goverment returns, nothing. If I didnt look at it or face it then it couldnt 'hurt' me.

For me it was stress, and I just shut down. At the end I procrastinated EVERYTHING, even silly things like closing cupboards.

I MADE myself begin to pluck away at shit. Before we were shut down or something, lol.

Its taken a long time but we are now back on track.

The bad habbits still like to rear their heads tho, ex; this month was a slow month and I have anxiety to look into the account and pay the bills (even tho the money is there right now) I think it scarred me for life!

I think its like a burn out. Being in business is TOUGH!

So not much advice, but I have been there and know how horrible it feels.

You WILL feel better tho each time to take a chunk out of the work no matter how small it is.

Make a small list each day. Like maybe only 5 simple things. Tackle them and scratch that shit off. It feels good!


You own you're own business and you spell "though" t-h-o??

Th only ppl I knw who typ lk tht ar lazy engr stdnts frm th Mddl east



*Your


I actually let that one out there cor cyote girl, but she missed it...

I'd rather be incorrect than lazy


*for

Use the meme, Beth

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theBeth
Level

Join date: May 2013
Location:
Posts: 1148

spar4tee wrote:
theBeth wrote:


*for

Use the meme, Beth



I was too busy typing with one hand

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spar4tee
Level

Join date: Sep 2010
Location: District of Columbia, USA
Posts: 9912

theBeth wrote:
spar4tee wrote:
theBeth wrote:


*for

Use the meme, Beth



I was too busy typing with one hand

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Derek542
Level 5

Join date: Oct 2002
Location: Texas, USA
Posts: 12418

Okay you guys are just getting weird now

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Test Icicle
Level

Join date: May 2011
Location:
Posts: 166

Bringing this back from the dead, because I got some terrific advice here. I read all the posts multiple times and here's what I gots:

Skyzyks: Filling out forms brings out anxiety in me. I think (like a lot of procrastinators) I have perfectionist tendencies and a twinge of OCD (mostly counting rituals - stairs, finger taps, etc). The idea of getting to line 46 f and not knowing what to put in the blank will cause me to set the whole thing aside for another day. And that day becomes a month which becomes a year.

LoRez and NikH: I have not been tested for adult ADHD but will bring it up with my therapist the next time I go (no appointments planned in the future, I just touch base with her once a year or so). I do have hypothyroidism which when untreated contributed to some mild depression and general fatigue. I had my TSH tested once again, and my doc and I bumped up my dosage by 25mcg and I'm feeling a bit better already.

Coyotegal: I saw so much of myself in your post. 2011 was a difficult year for my business, plus I paid my ex a boat load of money. I think looking at how much I lost due to poor decision making and how much I paid my ex was overwhelming. It just brought up all those bad feelings once again. Even today, I have a garbage bag full of unopened bills that I keep. I pay utilities when they call me and threaten to turn them off, even though I have plenty of money in the bank to pay.

Squatting Bear and EmQ: I appreciate the time you took to go back and forth with one another, that type of dialogue helped with figure out what was going on inside.

Batman730: Very, very helpful posts. You helped me put in to words things which I only felt.

Derek and other who told me to get the fuck over it: yup, you're right.

So, here's what I'm working on: I have poor inhibition control and a very busy life which gives me plenty of opportunity to avoid those things I don't want to do while still being productive. Instead of doing my taxes, I'll clean out the garage. Or change the oil in all the cars. Or repaint the bedrooms. Nobody can accuse me of being lazy, but I'm not doing what really needs to be done.

Somewhere along the way, I've become terribly undisciplined, but I mistook routine for discipline. In other words, I woke up at 5:30 and went to work, then picked up the kids at school, took them to their activities, made dinner, etc....and got to pat myself on the back for being disciplined when in actuality all I was doing was showing up where and when I needed to. I think a truer test would be, "am i getting things done when they need to be done?' and the answer is no.

So after making my original post, I took a day and a half and got my 2011 and 2012 taxes complete. I also took the first vacation I've taken in 2.5 years because I never allowed myself to take a break as long as my taxes were incomplete. So that was nice.

My gameplan going forward: Open all mail the day I get it. Either file it, take some other action, or throw it away. Break my day into 25 minute segments, and have a goal for each segment (the Pomodoro Technique if anyone cares). Focus on small tasks, break all large tasks into their components, allow myself to take a break to stay mentally fresh as well as to keep from feeling overwhelmed.

So again, thanks to all of you.

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angry chicken
Level 3

Join date: Jun 2009
Location: Virginia, USA
Posts: 4942

Dude, if you are paying THAT much in penalties, just hire an accountant! Will it cost you several grand for the kind of detail you need? YUP. Is several grand better than EIGHTY FUCKING THOUSAND DOLLARS IN PENALTIES WTF!?!?!?! Spending a little money on an accountant makes all that shit go away. AND saves you from feeling like you procrastinate.

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