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Limp Handshakes
 

Cartman8675
Level 3

Join date: Dec 2005
Posts: 239

Yeah I give limp handshakes, to people that I don't respect while staring them in the eyes.

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BruceH
Level

Join date: Nov 2009
Posts: 49

I used to have a good firm handshake. However, after being stabbed through the hand in a prison riot, I've lost a good bit of feeling and nerve damage to my ring and pinky finger. The only real hand strength I have is in the index and middle finger. So while I try to give as firm a handshake as I can, the bottom of my hand usually curls up. And while some people may try to give a crank on my hand, I don't really feel it. And its quite possible that during that handshake, when you're showing your dominance, that you just broke bones in those last 2 fingers. I will figure it out in a day or 2 when my hand starts to swell or turn colors. But it has nothing to do with what kind of man I am.

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sen say
Level 5

Join date: Mar 2005
Posts: 8353

four60 wrote:

I can almost hear that 70's porn music playing in the background....I loved Nina Hartley.


Have you checked out her website? It's got like 200 'how-to' videos on it...too bad it's like 8 bucks a month and she now is looking kinda like a grandma.

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EmilyQ
Level 1

Join date: Jun 2007
Posts: 4626

BruceH wrote:
I used to have a good firm handshake. However, after being stabbed through the hand in a prison riot, I've lost a good bit of feeling and nerve damage to my ring and pinky finger. The only real hand strength I have is in the index and middle finger. So while I try to give as firm a handshake as I can, the bottom of my hand usually curls up. And while some people may try to give a crank on my hand, I don't really feel it. And its quite possible that during that handshake, when you're showing your dominance, that you just broke bones in those last 2 fingers. I will figure it out in a day or 2 when my hand starts to swell or turn colors. But it has nothing to do with what kind of man I am.


I feel the need to acknowledge this post, even though I really have nothing to say about it. Except maybe to ask why you let people shake your damaged hand?

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pushharder
Level 5

Join date: Apr 2005
Posts: 38086

EmilyQ wrote:
BruceH wrote:
I used to have a good firm handshake. However, after being stabbed through the hand in a prison riot, I've lost a good bit of feeling and nerve damage to my ring and pinky finger. The only real hand strength I have is in the index and middle finger. So while I try to give as firm a handshake as I can, the bottom of my hand usually curls up. And while some people may try to give a crank on my hand, I don't really feel it. And its quite possible that during that handshake, when you're showing your dominance, that you just broke bones in those last 2 fingers. I will figure it out in a day or 2 when my hand starts to swell or turn colors. But it has nothing to do with what kind of man I am.


I feel the need to acknowledge this post, even though I really have nothing to say about it. Except maybe to ask why you let people shake your damaged hand?


Yes, this is the anomaly. Offer your left hand and say, "My right hand has been injured." I've had to do this before.

But again this is the anomaly. Most limp wristed handshakers are just pansy ass motherfuckers.

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BruceH
Level

Join date: Nov 2009
Posts: 49

Because I'm right handed? And its not that bad really until I get one of those over compensating jerk offs that feel the need to express their dominance over me. If they push the damaged fingers into the good ones, I can feel that. Then I take my left hand and poke the bastard in the eye. But that's only happened once. My hand is broke and so is his freakin eye. Other than that one time, its not really been a problem. I was just saying if we ever met, ya'll might think I have a weak or limp handshake.

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Professor X
Level 5

Join date: Oct 2002
Posts: 51898

I firmly shook the front desk girl's hand when I walked into the gym.

She will be missed by her remaining family.

I am truly sorry.

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Wiex
Level

Join date: Apr 2013
Posts: 377

Professor X wrote:
I firmly shook the front desk girl's hand when I walked into the gym.

She will be missed by her remaining family.

I am truly sorry.


That was my sister... Ass!

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Professor X
Level 5

Join date: Oct 2002
Posts: 51898

Wiex wrote:
Professor X wrote:
I firmly shook the front desk girl's hand when I walked into the gym.

She will be missed by her remaining family.

I am truly sorry.


That was my sister... Ass!




But T-Nation told me to do it!!!!

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Wiex
Level

Join date: Apr 2013
Posts: 377

Professor X wrote:
Wiex wrote:
Professor X wrote:
I firmly shook the front desk girl's hand when I walked into the gym.

She will be missed by her remaining family.

I am truly sorry.


That was my sister... Ass!



But T-Nation told me to do it!!!!



If T-Nation told you to jump off a bridge, would you do it? Actually, don't answer that. Last thing we need is the cops knocking on your door to put you on sui watch.

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SkyzykS
Level 2

Join date: Apr 2004
Posts: 9208

Professor X wrote:
Wiex wrote:
Professor X wrote:
I firmly shook the front desk girl's hand when I walked into the gym.

She will be missed by her remaining family.

I am truly sorry.


That was my sister... Ass!




But T-Nation told me to do it!!!!


That is only valid if you are putting it in her pooper while she's making you a sammich and you are yelling "Hulk Smash!".

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Wiex
Level

Join date: Apr 2013
Posts: 377

SkyzykS wrote:
That is only valid if you are putting it in her pooper while she's making you a sammich and you are yelling "Hulk Smash!".


Let's be honest, that's probably going to be a sloppily made sandwich.

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EmilyQ
Level 1

Join date: Jun 2007
Posts: 4626

Wiex wrote:
SkyzykS wrote:
That is only valid if you are putting it in her pooper while she's making you a sammich and you are yelling "Hulk Smash!".


Let's be honest, that's probably going to be a sloppily made sandwich.


Probably not going to be a great handshake, either.

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SkyzykS
Level 2

Join date: Apr 2004
Posts: 9208

EmilyQ wrote:
Wiex wrote:
SkyzykS wrote:
That is only valid if you are putting it in her pooper while she's making you a sammich and you are yelling "Hulk Smash!".


Let's be honest, that's probably going to be a sloppily made sandwich.


Probably not going to be a great handshake, either.


Yeah, I could see that getting awkward real fast at a job interview or other formal business setting.

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SickSex6
Level

Join date: Jun 2013
Posts: 447

This thread still exists?

Is it funny?

Should i read it?

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Derek542
Level 5

Join date: Oct 2002
Posts: 12745

SickSex6 wrote:
This thread still exists?

Is it funny?

Should i read it?

No

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SickSex6
Level

Join date: Jun 2013
Posts: 447

Derek542 wrote:
SickSex6 wrote:
This thread still exists?

Is it funny?

Should i read it?

No



Damn. I was hoping i started a poopstorm

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Professor X
Level 5

Join date: Oct 2002
Posts: 51898

SickSex6 wrote:
Derek542 wrote:
SickSex6 wrote:
This thread still exists?

Is it funny?

Should i read it?

No



Damn. I was hoping i started a poopstorm



You have to be big, black, bald and have an actual opinion for that to happen.

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SickSex6
Level

Join date: Jun 2013
Posts: 447

Professor X wrote:
SickSex6 wrote:
Derek542 wrote:
SickSex6 wrote:
This thread still exists?

Is it funny?

Should i read it?

No



Damn. I was hoping i started a poopstorm



You have to be big, black, bald and have an actual opinion for that to happen.



Im big and black but wearing a purple and silver dreadlock wig right now though...so i cannot start of feces hurricaine

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SkyzykS
Level 2

Join date: Apr 2004
Posts: 9208

Professor X wrote:
SickSex6 wrote:
Derek542 wrote:
SickSex6 wrote:
This thread still exists?

Is it funny?

Should i read it?

No



Damn. I was hoping i started a poopstorm



You have to be big, black, bald and have an actual opinion for that to happen.


How can I improve my handshake?

FWIW, I'm considered strong for my size, but I am genetically screwed by my parents and their long bony finger genes.

I don't like to eat food either. I stick mostly to pictures of food that I snip out of magazines and newspapers. (newspaper is my fav. dissolves easier)

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dmaddox
Level 3

Join date: Aug 2009
Posts: 6008

Professor X wrote:
SickSex6 wrote:
Derek542 wrote:
SickSex6 wrote:
This thread still exists?

Is it funny?

Should i read it?

No



Damn. I was hoping i started a poopstorm



You have to be big, black, bald and have an actual opinion for that to happen.


So that rules you out PX.

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J. Prufrock
Level

Join date: Mar 2012
Posts: 517

^Daaaamn.

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