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Cheating: How Did You Deal...
 

Edgy
Level 2

Join date: Feb 2007
Posts: 10824

Uncle Gabby wrote:
Edgy wrote:
Uncle Gabby wrote:
I think age has a lot to do with whether one would cheat again. If they were 20 at the time then they were still a child and have many years yet to grow, mature, and change for the better. If they were 30+ then they were probably as mature as they were ever going to get and I wouldn't bet on any changes for the better.



Ummm - not so fast, Mr. Gabby - I believe that a person can not even consider 'cheating' whilst all of one's needs are being met, and that can change once the relationship matures and the needs are moved to the side.

then a person might find his fullfullment elsewhere - and who's to blame for that?



If a person is not fulfilled in a relationship, and hasn't been for a while, then the mature thing to do is to end the relationship. I added the part "hasn't been for a while" because jumping ship at the first sign of trouble is pathetic. I know you started a thread about when it was ok to cheat, or something similar. Though I don't read everything here, or remember half of the shit I do, I got the gist that you were not happy in your marriage, and hadn't been for sometime. Fine, leave her. Don't be scared all your life.



so - in your opinion, if 1 of the needs of the marriage is not being met, but all other aspects of the marriage is fine and functioning, then your opinion is to blow it up, and move on - regardless of the damage that it will do to all involved?


I am surprised that you would come to that conclusion so quickly, that is very short sighted and selfish, imo~

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pushharder
Level 5

Join date: Apr 2005
Posts: 38120

thethirdruffian wrote:
Chushin wrote:
thethirdruffian wrote:

Oh, and I knocked her ass up about a month ago. Puked her guts out this AM while I held her hair, which, in accordance with Apache tradition, means it is a boy.


Congrats, Ruff.

Be a good dad, ok?


Oh, never a danger of not being a good dad. It's the husband part that had me worried. I realized, however, that being a good dad included being a faithful husband.

As a complete aside, my wife photographed a bear in the horses' water tank last week while I was in Texas.

She's in mild city-girl disbelief into what she got herself into.



Kewl.

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Uncle Gabby
Level 5

Join date: Sep 2004
Posts: 3999

Edgy wrote:
Uncle Gabby wrote:
Edgy wrote:
Uncle Gabby wrote:
I think age has a lot to do with whether one would cheat again. If they were 20 at the time then they were still a child and have many years yet to grow, mature, and change for the better. If they were 30+ then they were probably as mature as they were ever going to get and I wouldn't bet on any changes for the better.



Ummm - not so fast, Mr. Gabby - I believe that a person can not even consider 'cheating' whilst all of one's needs are being met, and that can change once the relationship matures and the needs are moved to the side.

then a person might find his fullfullment elsewhere - and who's to blame for that?



If a person is not fulfilled in a relationship, and hasn't been for a while, then the mature thing to do is to end the relationship. I added the part "hasn't been for a while" because jumping ship at the first sign of trouble is pathetic. I know you started a thread about when it was ok to cheat, or something similar. Though I don't read everything here, or remember half of the shit I do, I got the gist that you were not happy in your marriage, and hadn't been for sometime. Fine, leave her. Don't be scared all your life.



so - in your opinion, if 1 of the needs of the marriage is not being met, but all other aspects of the marriage is fine and functioning, then your opinion is to blow it up, and move on - regardless of the damage that it will do to all involved?


I am surprised that you would come to that conclusion so quickly, that is very short sighted and selfish, imo~


That's some desperate rationalization on your part right there.

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Chushin
Level 100

Join date: Feb 2005
Posts: 7439

thethirdruffian wrote:
Chushin wrote:
thethirdruffian wrote:

Oh, and I knocked her ass up about a month ago. Puked her guts out this AM while I held her hair, which, in accordance with Apache tradition, means it is a boy.


Congrats, Ruff.

Be a good dad, ok?


Oh, never a danger of not being a good dad. It's the husband part that had me worried. I realized, however, that being a good dad included being a faithful husband.


Only if you want your kid to keep his word and be trustworthy. ;-)

thethirdruffian wrote:
As a complete aside, my wife photographed a bear in the horses' water tank last week while I was in Texas.

She's in mild city-girl disbelief into what she got herself into.



Ha ha. Pretty cool, indeed.

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Edgy
Level 2

Join date: Feb 2007
Posts: 10824

Uncle Gabby wrote:
Edgy wrote:
Uncle Gabby wrote:
Edgy wrote:
Uncle Gabby wrote:
I think age has a lot to do with whether one would cheat again. If they were 20 at the time then they were still a child and have many years yet to grow, mature, and change for the better. If they were 30+ then they were probably as mature as they were ever going to get and I wouldn't bet on any changes for the better.



Ummm - not so fast, Mr. Gabby - I believe that a person can not even consider 'cheating' whilst all of one's needs are being met, and that can change once the relationship matures and the needs are moved to the side.

then a person might find his fullfullment elsewhere - and who's to blame for that?



If a person is not fulfilled in a relationship, and hasn't been for a while, then the mature thing to do is to end the relationship. I added the part "hasn't been for a while" because jumping ship at the first sign of trouble is pathetic. I know you started a thread about when it was ok to cheat, or something similar. Though I don't read everything here, or remember half of the shit I do, I got the gist that you were not happy in your marriage, and hadn't been for sometime. Fine, leave her. Don't be scared all your life.



so - in your opinion, if 1 of the needs of the marriage is not being met, but all other aspects of the marriage is fine and functioning, then your opinion is to blow it up, and move on - regardless of the damage that it will do to all involved?


I am surprised that you would come to that conclusion so quickly, that is very short sighted and selfish, imo~


That's some desperate rationalization on your part right there.



we all try to believe our own bullshit~ I am not immune to that~

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Uncle Gabby
Level 5

Join date: Sep 2004
Posts: 3999

Edgy wrote:

we all try to believe our own bullshit~ I am not immune to that~


Same here. I recently decided that I am a thief (which is a loathesome thing in my opinion) and rather than make excuses for my thievery I'd rather just admit the fact to myself and move on.

I work part time at a large not for profit corporation that is extremely talented at burning through money and producing prodigious amounts of waste. It has to do with the "not for profit" status and having to spend every penny they bring in. So they replace and dispose of well built, perfectly functional equipment, because it is "old and ugly" and the money has to be spent. I move furniture and equipment, so most of it passes through my hands.

If I see something I have use for, that I've been told to throw away I keep. Sometimes I go through proper channels and ask permission to get it, sometimes if I can see there's going to be too much hassle I don't. I give stuff away to friends and coworkers of I have no use for it myself. Robin Hood ain't got shit on me.
My new supervisor, or rather supervisor's supervisor is pretty cool, and I've actually bought items from the company that were going to be trashed.

My best haul was two years ago I scored 6 x 45lb Olympic plates, an Olympic bar, and an awesome plate tree for free. A fitness center wanted to get rid of it because the new director thought it dangerous. He told me to "throw it all away, or do whatever you want with it". It all went directly to the back of my truck. I would have gone through proper channels but the scrap metal bandits were circling like buzzards, and I hate to see good equipment destroyed for a few pennies a pound. The scrap metal bandits did actually get a sweet pulley system and an awesome old school nautilus machine, because I had no room for it myself. I would have been happy to give it away to somebody who would use it. I did twist the bandit's arms a little and make them give me a cut of the money.

The company has started donating large quantities of stuff to several worthy charities, which I am a strong supporter of. But the boys who come to get the stuff will just as often take a load to the scrap yard and pocket the cash for themselves. I ain't mad at them as they're young and either working their asses off for minimum wage, or community service.

Sorry for the long story. In short, we're all human and none of us are perfect.

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Edgy
Level 2

Join date: Feb 2007
Posts: 10824

Uncle Gabby wrote:

In short, we're all human and none of us are perfect.



QFT~

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