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Return of the KAK
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kakattack
Level 4

Join date: May 2008
Posts: 202

Another V-Diet from another veteran. This will be my third V-Diet but I suspect it will be a totally different experience. I've been an athlete (swimmer) most of my life - active and loving it. My love for lifting really took off after I graduated college and I was hooked on the nation immediately. My body composition was continually getting better, I was strong, I was happy with myself. I was on a good steady track for about 3 years. No real "off the wagon" periods. I ended my first v-diet at about 130# and was holding steady at 135-140.

This all changed drastically about 2yrs ago after some personal trauma - perfect time for all my inner fat kid eating habits to explode as an attempt to deal. I was constantly eating, boozing, yo-yoing and my exercise habits went to hell. I'd be in for a month and out for two. It's not hard to guess that this only made life worse and snowballed the situation. Two years later, I'm sitting at a whopping 170lbs at 5'6. Thats 35lbs in 2yrs and doesn't begin to account for the lost muscle mass. You kind of have to try to do that, yah?

Welp, today I decided f that. I came home from the gym (which I've sporadically been exploring again), popped right on the computer and bought my package before I could back out.

I'm sick of this body and feeling out of shape. I'm sick of what it does to my mental health and physical. I want being active and strong and capable again. I miss the rush of a new PR. I want my confidence back.


So here's me putting it out there. I hate being "another V-Diet log" but I know from experience the accountability helps. I'll be starting Sunday. Anxious and excited.

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paula_h65
Level 2

Join date: Feb 2012
Posts: 127

welcome:) finding yourself again and taking control of your life is an amazing journey.... you have seen the dark side, it's time to step back from the shadows and be your strong, beautiful self again. Accountability does work. Sunday is actually my last day before transition. Since you are all ready a veteran of the diet, this should be a cake walk for you!!!

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kakattack
Level 4

Join date: May 2008
Posts: 202

thanks! and congrats to your finishing. I actually always found the transition to be the hardest part.
its good to be back. every time I v-dieted in the past, I was already in shape and active, just looking to loose a little. Now I'm very heavy and out of shape. I'm interested to see if that is going to work for or against me. I'll find out!

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paula_h65
Level 2

Join date: Feb 2012
Posts: 127

it will be a place to focus your energy... it is awesome, because it has a definite beginning and end... so it is an easily obtainable goal!!!!!

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gbwheeler
Level 3

Join date: May 2011
Posts: 60

Hey KAK, way to take control. As a former rower, I know the discipline it takes to be a college athlete, so hats off to you for being a swimmer. Discipline is like a muscle, the more you use it, the stronger it gets. And like a muscle, if it's been in shape before, it will bounce back even faster. I'm on Day 6 of the V-Diet, so I'm looking forward to following your log and taking motivation from it. Best of luck to you.

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kakattack
Level 4

Join date: May 2008
Posts: 202

So I got pulled away for some training this week and I had to leave before my shipment came. Grrr. So I'll be starting this Sunday instead. I'm taking the week to get a few more lifts in so that next week hopefully isn't quite as painful. I'm anxious to start. I need change.

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kakattack
Level 4

Join date: May 2008
Posts: 202

well, I'm on to day 3. I forgot how rough this can be. I know everyone loves Metabolic Drive but I do not. its tough to get it down for me. I do think its the best shake out there that I've had but I still have problems. ill make it though. gotta persevere. I've decided to go with beginner training since I've been so so inconsistent at the gym.

I think ky biggest problem is going to be not getting my hopes up. I put on a pair of pants his morning that are normally too tight and expected them to suddenly fit again. needless to say, two days into a diet doesn't suddenly make your pants fit. that's going to be a challenge - being realistic.

I was huge starting this diet. I'm not going to be happy with my body when its done like I was in the past (when I started small and fit). but I will make a lot of progress and behappy with that. it will be a huge step that I will be happy with overall but I'm not going to magically have a great body again. progress not miracles.

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manmathison
Level 3

Join date: Mar 2012
Posts: 29

kakattack wrote:
well, I'm on to day 3. I forgot how rough this can be. I know everyone loves Metabolic Drive but I do not. its tough to get it down for me. I do think its the best shake out there that I've had but I still have problems. ill make it though. gotta persevere. I've decided to go with beginner training since I've been so so inconsistent at the gym.

I think ky biggest problem is going to be not getting my hopes up. I put on a pair of pants his morning that are normally too tight and expected them to suddenly fit again. needless to say, two days into a diet doesn't suddenly make your pants fit. that's going to be a challenge - being realistic.

I was huge starting this diet. I'm not going to be happy with my body when its done like I was in the past (when I started small and fit). but I will make a lot of progress and behappy with that. it will be a huge step that I will be happy with overall but I'm not going to magically have a great body again. progress not miracles.


KAK,

I think being realistic is a great thing. I'm absolutely disgusted with my current body and I am a little disappointed in my Week 1 results. But as you've said it's important to keep your eye on the prize and think of the big picture. This for me and many others is a single step in the right direction and I think it's important to see it as the beginning of a long journey. Be proud of yourself for deciding to make a difficult change and know that you can get back to where you were. I have no doubt.

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paula_h65
Level 2

Join date: Feb 2012
Posts: 127

Big Hugs Kak, weight is such a difficult battle. You are right 3 days in you probably won't be fitting into the size 5 petites, but you will be closer than you were 3 days ago. When you finish your 28 days you will feel better about yourself:) Good luck!!!!

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kakattack
Level 4

Join date: May 2008
Posts: 202

Yup! I'm trying to stay focused and remember that I can like my results without liking my body at the end. hard to keep perspective. I'm being dragged away for work again. hoping I can work around it as much as possible...

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paula_h65
Level 2

Join date: Feb 2012
Posts: 127

Kak, you are awesome, and you can use this as a sling shot to help you get your head back into the fitness routine. I've been at this a year and am almost at my goal weight. It isn't always easy, sometimes it's damn right hard. But I am liking the results of my sweat and tears. I was a competitive swimmer and water polo player and even did a bit of diving. I use time in the water to clear my head. It is my happy place even to this day. Find your happy place and kick some mf'n ass:)

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kakattack
Level 4

Join date: May 2008
Posts: 202

I was down about 8lbs in the first week. And I didn't get to do NEPA for 3 days because of work. my measurements didn't change though which is disappointing. I didn't get to take pictures though and I know that's. usually how I see most of the change in myself. I feel less celulitey which is good. I'm just trying to stick it out. I know really good things will come if I do.

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manmathison
Level 3

Join date: Mar 2012
Posts: 29

KAK

I think you are absolutely on track when you talk about sticking it out! The end goal hasn't changed and you will see the results and get to where you want to be. You did loose 8lbs in 1 week which is pretty phenomenal. I'm just starting week 3 and I've only dropped 4 lbs. I'm not seeing the sort of drastic change that I was hoping for either but its about more than a drastic drop in weight or inches. Its about reprogramming your body and mind and being prepared to make a life long change.

It's a struggle for us all but we/you are strong enough to see it through. It's only a month afterall ;)

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kakattack
Level 4

Join date: May 2008
Posts: 202

Grrr. Couldn't help getting back on scale today. I know, I know - bad me. Back up 4lbs. so frustrated...

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kakattack
Level 4

Join date: May 2008
Posts: 202

Pants are starting to fit better. Massive thighs are looking noticably less massive. Workouts are getting easier. Must keep going.....

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kakattack
Level 4

Join date: May 2008
Posts: 202

Hi all, sorry I'm being such a downer with this. It's been quite a bit harder than I anticipated this time around. I FEEL better overall. Hell, just being active again regularly makes me feel better. But those damn numbers aren't budging and they're messing with my head. When I was 30lbs lighter, I lost more weight and faster. My body just isn't being as responsive and I don't know why. I remember seeing people heavier than me loosing so much more weight. I'll make sure I take pictures this weekend, but I'm honestly a bit scared to. If they don't show much/enough, it's going to be even harder.

I'm just trying my damndest to stick with the grind. If I ever want 3/4 of my clothes to fit again, I sure as hell have to!!!

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triskele
Level 3

Join date: Mar 2012
Posts: 102

8lbs in one week is huge, even after accounting for water weight! well done

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kakattack
Level 4

Join date: May 2008
Posts: 202

took pictures this morning. I think I'm officially on the screw this boat. 2 weeks and zero results. I'm up 5lbs again. measurements haven't budged at all - not even a quarter inch. can't tell any difference in before/after photos. obviously my body isn't responding to this at all this time. no creaking idea why but I'm not doing this to see nothing change.

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hooner
Level 2

Join date: Mar 2012
Posts: 104

[quote]kakattack wrote:
..... I FEEL better overall. Hell, just being active again regularly makes me feel better.........

KAK, you would not want to give up on something that makes you feel better, would you? Get off the scale and just stick to the V diet. If nothing else, you have a structured program to start feeling fit again. Right now, I'm the heaviest I've ever been in my life and it sucks. But sticking with the program is a better alternative than stopping, right? Time to realize right now you are not the fit person who did the V-Diet in the past. You have every right to get mad, get frustrated, but you also have to choose whether you remain in that place, or move ahead. You have a great start.
Choose everyday to take another step forward. You can do it.

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kakattack
Level 4

Join date: May 2008
Posts: 202

Ugh. Thanks. its really hard when you have one idea of how things are going to go in your head and reality is totally different. I'm responding completely unlike how I have in the past. and its only made worse by that fact that I'm now very much aware of how unhappy I am with my current body state.

I cant lie.... I think I had like 3 bags of trail mix this morning. but I suppose I shouldn't let that be a reason to not get back on track, right? I've just been so caught off guard this time and I'm not handling it well,especially now that I've taken away my typically self soothing practices that I developed over the last 2yrs (aka booze and food). This has been a much harder process than I anticipated.

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hooner
Level 2

Join date: Mar 2012
Posts: 104

You are exactly right, KAK, not to let trail mix derail you. Yes, a bump in the road, but not a entire detour. Funny similarity: over the past 2 years, I have been drinking every night and eating crap (I said my job was stressful, so having a drink helped me cope). It helped in the short term, like getting through the evening, but long term, now I have a big gut on top of my stressful job. Working out? That sounded too hard.

So now, on 5th Day V-Diet and 7th Day without drinking, I feel some semblance of control returning. One day at a time, making a conscious choice each day to just do the V-Diet, NEPA, and the workouts. My NEPA is only 1/2 hr sometimes, but it is a start.
You can do this. You are awesome, KAK.

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hooner
Level 2

Join date: Mar 2012
Posts: 104

KAK, here is something to try.....mine's on the wall....

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triskele
Level 3

Join date: Mar 2012
Posts: 102

real talk from hooner there... inspiring.

keep up your hard work, kak. like you say, it's a hard process, but you're made of harder stuff

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