Undercover Wiener: Power Abs

Monday, 10:30AM: Sometimes it's abundantly clear that I just need to keep my trap shut. Like that time I told TC that his butt look fabulous in his new Dockers, like two big bowling balls under an Egyptian cotton sheet.

Hey, the guy had been training hard to bring up his posterior chain; who was I to deny him a compliment on his noticeable results? That's what friends are for, right? Apparently not, because now he runs out of the gym locker room covering his ass every time I walk in.

Sheesh. Some people just can't take a compliment.

Anyway, I recently spouted off an idea for a new blog series where I'd attend a bunch of silly fitness classes at my new gym and write about my experiences. I said it, now I guess I better do it, huh? Okay, fine. But I at least better see some "hawt ass" as promised.

In all seriousness, I'm not sure what to expect. I'm sure I'll get my butt kicked in a couple of these classes. I currently perform some type of interval energy systems work 2 to 3 times per week, but 15 to 20 minutes of intervals is quite different that 30 to 60 minutes of straight cardio.

But think about it: it's easy to get your butt kicked in any type of workout, but does that make the workout productive? Does it actually get you closer to your individual goals? And are there better ways to reach those goals? I mean, I can make anyone puke in a weight training workout, but is puking going to somehow make them bigger and stronger? Doubtfully.

But still, I'm going to attempt to go into these classes open minded, even "beginner minded." I'll try to suspend my disbelief for at least an hour and walk in the door as a blank slate.

The first class starts in about an hour. It's called "Power Abs" and lasts 30 minutes. Now, I generally go for the idea that the abs need trained heavily for the most part. They need resistance and respond best to a good diet and heavy weights, not hundreds of reps (although some athletes probably need a mix of both.)

But I'll go anyway. For you. For your entertainment. For your personal enjoyment. Bastards.


Monday, 12:15: Oh. My. God.

Let me set up the back-story here. I probably haven't performed over 12-15 reps of ab work for a couple of years. Most of my ab training involves heavy sets of around 8 reps. I do a lot of plain old sit-ups, cable crunches, and hanging leg raises, along with some gymnastic holds and the occasional suitcase deadlift or Saxon side bend.

Well, I just did a 30 minute ab workout consisting of, oh, about 5 bajillions reps. That's bajillion with a "b." I have felt the burn. I have seen God and his name is Lactic Acid Build-Up.

I did not hear the kind of language I expected though -- words like "toning" and lines about how high reps burn the fat off. The instructor, a nicely-muscled gal, was a machine who barked out orders, but she never spread any misinformation like I used to hear in these classes. (I attended a couple of these classes about 8 years ago at a different location.)

The class started with just me and the instructor. As the 30 minutes wore on, other joined in. I think this is unfair, as they seemed to be having an easier time than me toward the end, but I was in too much pain to yell out "Cheaters! Dirty late-arriving cheaters!" I also felt the need to explain to everyone that I'd already squatted and trained lower body that day. How dare they come into the class all fresh and perky!

At first I tried to estimate the total reps performed. Impossible. I quickly realized it wasn't so much about reps, but about how many minutes the exercises are performed. And of course the instructor used her evil instructor psychology on me. She said, "Let's do this for 10 reps. . . and now 8. . . and now 6 . . . and now 8 more . . . and now 10. . . and one for 12 . . . and 12 more to finish it off. . . and hold it for an isometric!"

Okay, lady, you can count them however you want, but that's 66 fucking reps total. See, that's how they get you! If she said, "Let's do 66 reps!" I'd respond "Let's kiss Chris's big white butt!" but she fooled me with the counting trick. Evil, I tell ya.

As mentioned, there were a lot of isometric holds, and oddly, I'd say it was about 60:40 lower to upper abs. I expected tons of crunches (and there were) but there was more "lower" ab work.

Observation: After about 300 reps of legs-in-the-air reverse crunches and hundreds more "little reps" at the end of each set, nothing feels better than stretching out the abs on the floor. It's almost orgasmic. (Almost. Also less messy.) And BTW, can we really call them "sets" if they basically never end for 30 minutes? More like one big set with a few position changes.

At the end, we did our "core work." This consisted of various plank exercises: the standard plank, the side plank, etc. I've always thought planks were kinda wiener, but placing them at the end of a 25 minute ab workout proved to be pretty tough. I was shaking like a Parkinson's victim in an earthquake. Then the workout ended with some "supermans."

Oh yeah, there was also some work done for the obliques that seemed useless. The instructor promised we'd "feel it tomorrow" but most of these exercises seemed pointless. I didn't complain because at least they didn't involved 500 reverse crunches with my freakin' big feet in the air. If anything, the side planks might lead to soreness, but not the so-called oblique exercises. We'll find out in the morning.

Oh, and here's the "hawt ass" breakdown for this mid-morning Monday class:

Hawt Asses: 3, including mine.
Chubby Non-Hawt Asses: 4
Others guys in the class besides me: 1

I'll report in the morning after I find out what this radical change in ab training style did to me.


Tuesday: 7:00AM: Hasn't quite been 24 hours yet since the workout, but the soreness is kicking in hard. My abs are sore to the touch. I feel them just typing. This, according to some strength coaches, is bad soreness, not a sign you "worked hard" but a sign you did too much damage. Some soreness is fine, but this level of soreness isn't a good thing, they say.

I agree for the most part. Charles Staley has always said that soreness isn't a sign of progress, yet many people seem to think that unless they're painfully sore, they just didn't accomplish anything.

I can see that, but soreness to me has always been somewhat of an indicator. I mean, the other day I performed a leg exercise I hadn't used in years (machine hack squats) and yep, I had some soreness in some different areas. Good! It let me know that I "hit some fibers" that I must have been "missing" with my usual front squats and deadlifts.

But the ab soreness I feel this morning goes beyond that. It's more like an injury than standard soreness caused by novel training. And I expect it to get worse as the day progresses.

And here's another observation: I can feel my hip flexors. Yep, the very muscles you're often told not to use when ab training. Well, mine must have been used because they're sore and tight. Interesting, because that means, upon awakening at least, my ab workout is causing me to walk funny.

Anyway, my theory is that my abs were so shot that my hip flexors eventually took over. Which brings up an interesting point: if the abs are fried that badly 15 minutes into the Power Abs class, then why does the class last 30 minutes? I mean, it's not like I'm an untrained newbie. I train abs three times a week typically, I have a visible six-pack, and even my abs were shot halfway through.

Now, this is partially because I never use such high rep ab training, but it's also because you just don't need to train abs for 30 solid minutes! You can effectively train them in half that time, probably much less. Thirty minutes is just excessive.

So, will I do this class again? Maybe once in a blue moon for the shock factor. But I'm sticking to my usual ab training philosophy: 90% weighted movements for 10 reps or less. Other compound free weight exercises will take care of the rest.


Wednesday, 2:00: I'm still sore, especially my obliques. I still think it was the side plank finishers that did that to me. I have no idea when I'll be able to train abs again. Not soon. And that doesn't exactly sound optimal, does it?

But here's something that just hit me. The female instructor has great abs. Now, diet issues aside, let's look at what she does. Looking at the class schedule, I see that she teaches this class Monday through Thursday -- that's right, four days in a row! And yes, she does every rep she asks you to do.

Now we're left with a tricky situation, so let's throw out some ponderin' points:

* Most here would agree that (again, diet issues aside) the best way to build a great six-pack is not to train them almost daily for 30 minutes a session using very high reps. Yet this woman does and has killer abs. Hmmm.

* Is she training effectively or is she just genetically blessed and maybe "on something?" Or just used to it after years of doing it? Hmmm.

* Sure, she has great abs but maybe they'd be even better if she trained in a more efficient manner? Hmmm.

(Keep in mind she's teaching a class and required to do this; I doubt she'd choose to train abs that much and in that manner if she wasn't doing it as part of her job. And BTW, she also teaches Body Pump and trains herself with normal free weights and machines at least a few times a week. The Body Pump classes I've seen often end with, you guessed it, more ab training.)

* Or is the lesson here to eat right so you won't be fat and train abs any damn way you want and they'll look good? Hmmm.

Think about it. Discuss. Contemplate. Learn something from my pain.

Next up: Spinning. God help me.

Chris:

Maybe you recall this (and maybe we can get JB in on the discussion?)

Anyway...in his "Creation" series, he had a "metabolic" day, designed more for recovery than anything else; where the main point is to have a day where you're just trying to increase blood flow to the tissue/"get a pump".

In addition to a periodic "muscle shock", AT LEAST THIS CLASS (I'm anxious to see what the "Body Pump" is like) seems like it might not be bad to periodically put into a workout cycle?

Just a thought.

On the instructors. I am amazed by a lot of them, when you consider the schedules they keep, and how they work-out, full bore, in each class. (I work with a Spinning Instructor, whom I think have a real S&M streak about them!). Maybe what we see is pure adaptation to certain continuous stress.

Curious: does she have much muscle otherwise?

Are you going to review a Spinning Class?


Should be fun!


Mufasa

(By the way; JB's "Metabolic Day" was more full-body,high-rep, "light" resistance work).


Mufasa

Only two other hot ass's and 4 baaadddd ones, days of "bad" soreness, sounds like I figured wrong on the hot ass thing being worth it. And that instructor, sounds like a female terminator. But I bet she would be fun in the sack. Looking for to the other one/ones you mentioned about up next.

Have fun & stay strong,

Dragon

the trainer is just accustomed to the workload and that is why she is able to handle it. It would be interesting to see if she could handle some form of higher intensity ab work like you (C.S.) do. chances are she's built the slow twitch fibers with the fast twitch fibers coming into play only when the slow twitch fibers have lost their ability to produce the needed force. laters pk

I'd have smacked her, once for being bossy, a second time for having great abs, and a third time for the hell of it.

Chances are she limped her way through the exercises. Taking breaks to walk around and comment on others forms. I've noticed that in some classes before a long time ago. You were probably too busy counting to 66 to realize it.

As for the workout, I totally agree 30 minutes is way too much. My ab workouts typically consist of 3 minutes of crunches (for the stretching and warmup effect), 3-4 sets of weighted crunches, and then some leg raises. More than enough. I don't have visible abs, but I can feel them. Just need to get by BF% down.

Good luck with the spinning class. Maybe you can find out for us why the hell they call it spinning? Obviously it's related to the wheels turning, but that is a stupid name. It's so stupid I find it hard to believe it doesn't mean something more. Like when your done your head is spinning, or something like that.

Suckered ya in didn't we?

We are ALL laughing our asses off.

It will be cool to have abs of steel though.

Remember- No pain, no gain.

LOL he did it! So what's next Shugs?

I vote for the CW theory: car mechanics have great forearms, and soccer players great legs, therefore, since this woman does an ungodly number of ab reps she has good abs.

Not that I don't think your way (lower rep, high intensity) won't work, Chris.

Dan "More classes? My prediction... pain." McVicker

You know... you can't really judge the effectiveness of this class until you've tried it for at least a month and then evaluated your results.

Mwahahaha

My guess Chris is that she just has a low bf% and thus appears to have great abs. It's rare enough on a woman to make me look twice when I see em, but they are not necessarily well developed, just visible. And if they are well developed, maybe she built them the more traditional way before she started taking the classes.

By the way, I take a core class at my gym, but I hit em with weighted medball work, some explosive movements, barbell windmills, Turk getups etc and nothing higher than 12 reps. A lot of sets though- 40min class.

Spinning??!

Go ahead and dial the 9 and the 1, brother.

;)

I was a bricky's labourer for about 6 months when I left school. After the first days work, I was fucked. I was sore, muscles were burning and I walked around like a 90 year old man with a walking frame up his ass.

2 weeks later, the same work didn't even raise a sweat. Your body gets use to the work you do, no matter what it is.

I bet if Shugs did this workout for a month, he wouldn't be sore the next day. He would probably get sore if he went back to 8-12 reps.

A more important question would be who the fuck wants to do abs for 30mins non-stop? I definitely think this sort of workout is there for people who think tehy can burn fat straight from their stomachs if they work it enough.

The other important question is what are the odds of Shugs having a spew in spin class?

I went to a "Power Sculpting" Class last year a few times. I was the only guy in the class of about 40 and I decided to be the big guy and use the 10 pounds weight for the exercises. Countless reps on countless exercises.

After like 30 to 40 reps of tricep extensions and side-lat raises I had to swallow the ego and drop to the 5 pounds weight. At this point most of the girls are whooping on me which I chalked up to "Well, they have probably been doing this forever...Well, guys are built for strength and women for endurance..."

No matter what it was, those classes arent jokes man, they can really bring the pain.

No! No, no, not 6! I said 7. Nobody's comin' up with 6. Who works out in 6 minutes? You won't even get your heart goin, not even a mouse on a wheel.
Thats ... a good point.
7's the key number here. Think about it. 7-Elevens. 7 doors. 7, man, that's the number. 7 chipmunks twirlin' on a branch, eatin' lots of sunflowers on my uncle's ranch. You know that old children's tale from the sea. It's like you're dreamin' about Gorgonzola cheese when it's clearly Brie time, baby.

From the sounds of it she trains almost all day every day.

She better have a decent body.

Most of us don't have that kind of time so we need more efficient ways to train.

One cute little female trainer in my gym does a class called Six-Pack.

Well... you can guess I tried it once,
but as the workout started, pretty much consisting of the same torture Chris wrote about, the little cutie-trainer showed up in a training top and had nothing near a six-pack but proofed to be a little bit on the chubby side. She has done this workout for years three times a week.
That was my proof that high-rep-ab-training doesn't work at all and cute looking girls can have chubby-bellies too.